


2 [Brilliant, Sexy] Beautiful Nerds > 1

by AudreyV



Category: Ghostbusters (2016), Warehouse 13
Genre: Casual Sex, Crossover Pairings, Crushes, F/F, Femslash, For Science!, Foster Care, Friends With Benefits, Jealous Erin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 05:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8000416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AudreyV/pseuds/AudreyV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You were up all night reading?”</p>
<p>“No, I was up all night wishing I could concentrate on my damn book, but every time I really got into it, there was more hollering coming from Holtzy’s room.” Patty glared in the general direction of the second floor. “And that girl she's got up there has a filthy mouth.”</p>
<p>---<br/>Holtzmann has a visitor.  Patty is sleep-deprived.  Erin is jealous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	2 [Brilliant, Sexy] Beautiful Nerds > 1

**Author's Note:**

> There is a delightful Ghostbusters/Warehouse 13 crossover fic by PieHeda that pairs HG Wells and Holtzmann. (It's called Holtzmann and Wells and you can read it here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7806826) That piece gave me the idea for this one. Jillian Holtzmann and Claudia Donovan have so much in common, it makes sense that they'd get along like a house on fire.
> 
> The artifact that Claudia brought for show-and-tell is Orville Wright's Aviator Goggles. The goggles allow for the transfer of brainpower and knowledge from one person to another. More info here: http://warehouse13.wikia.com/wiki/Orville_Wright's_Aviator_Goggles
> 
> After hitting y'all with how dark my last fic was, I thought I'd put up this fun little romp. 
> 
> The title is a reference to a cute moment in an interview with Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon when Leslie calls Kate a "beautiful nerd."

“Patty, can I get—” Erin stopped abruptly when she saw Patty with her head down on the counter. “Rough night?”

“Baby, do not even ask.”

Erin grinned. “What's his name?”

“‘The Legacy of the New American Dream: New York’s Little Italy in the 20th Century.’”

“You were up all night reading?”

“No, I was up all night wishing I could concentrate on my damn book, but every time I really got into it, there was more hollering coming from Holtzy’s room.” Patty glared in the general direction of the second floor. “And that girl she's got up there has a filthy mouth.”

Erin chuckled, a faint blush rising to her cheeks. “Ah. I see.”

“No, you don't see, but tonight while you're trying to think up some new physics something or other, I'm gonna start screaming ‘oh, Dr. Holtzmann, Jesus, right there, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.’”

“I would be pretty concerned if I heard that coming from your room,” Erin said seriously. “Not that you're not allowed to have sex with Holtzmann—”

“No, stop right there. There is nowhere good this conversation could go.”

Erin dropped it, mostly because the inventor was on her way downstairs, followed closely by an unfamiliar redhead. The girl was roughly Holtzmann’s age, pale and wearing too much eyeliner for Erin’s taste. Erin was hit with a strange feeling of jealousy when she realized the interloper was wearing HER threadbare oversized Lilith Fair t-shirt under Holtzmann’s silk robe. (She wondered why the redhead bothered with the robe at all: neither garment disguised the fact that she wasn’t wearing pants.)

“You can’t bring me something like this and expect me to be happy with just Vulcan mind-melding with you for a few hours,” Holtzmann insisted, holding what looked to be a pair of vintage googles in front of her as she dashed around the space, trying to elude her guest. “Just let me put them through a few tests! I can absolutely explain the effects.”

“Artifacts exist outside the realm of science. I know it's hard to come to terms with that—”

“Nothing exists outside the realm of science!” the inventor said, turning abruptly. The redhead crashed into her and Holtzmann kept her there by hooking her free arm around her waist. Her voice took on a distinctly seductive tone as she continued. “The only things that exist are things we can explain and things we haven't figured out how to explain YET. And studying these spectacularly fashionable googles is the next step along the way to a deeper understanding of the nature of the universe.” Holtzmann grinned, then stuck out her lower lip. “Please?”

“I can't. If they gets damaged or goes poof, Artie will know I took them and I’ll be in the doghouse forever.”

Holtzmann rolled her eyes. “Since when does badass Claudia Donovan follow some old guy’s rules?”

“He's my family, Jill.”

At this, Holtzmann stilled. She nodded, a little sadly, and gently placed the googles on top of Claudia’s head, smoothing a few strands of hair that were caught in the band.

“Fine. You win.” Holtzmann bent down and kissed Claudia. “For what it’s worth, mind-melding with you is pretty cool.”

“And probably against about a million different Warehouse rules,” Claudia added, although from where Erin stood she seemed remarkably nonchalant about it.

“I mean, I’m not your One if you didn’t TELL me, right? If I just… somehow… know?” Holtzmann slid her fingers from Claudia’s temple down to her jaw, finally skimming the redhead’s lip with her thumb. “God, your brain is sexy.”

Erin and Patty looked away, unnerved by the sudden intimacy of the moment, but the other two women seemed unconcerned. 

“I've got the mark 2 of the thing we tested last time.” Holtzmann’s eyes flashed with excitement. “I’ve made a feeeeeeeew improvements I think you’ll appreciate. Got another orgasm or four in you?”

“No idea, but I'd love to find out.” Claudia tangled her fingers in Holtzmann’s wild curls. “For science, of course.”

“See what I mean?” Patty grumbled. 

“Holtzmann? Are you going to introduce us to your friend?” Erin asked the inventor, who shrugged.

“She's my sister.”

“Now that is—“ Patty gestured vigorously toward Holtzmann, jabbing the air with her pointer finger. “Baby, we all know you're weird as hell, but if she's your sister then I have some SERIOUS concerns.”

“Don't freak them out Jill.” The redhead smiled and bowed in an exaggerated fashion. “Claudia Donovan, former ward of the state. We met—”

“A long time ago,” Holtzmann interrupted. “So. You've been introduced. Claudia? The mark two isn't going to test itself.”

“Duty calls,” Claudia said, flashing a wink at Erin that was so Holtzmann-esque that the physicist’s stomach dropped. 

Holtzmann bounded up the stairs, but Claudia hung back. She smiled at Patty. “Don't worry. We might share mannerisms, but there's no common DNA. And we met when we were teenagers so there's none of that creepy “raised together” stuff.”

“See? That was all I needed to know.” Patty said. “But do me a favor, red?”

“Your wish is my command.”

“Quiet down or find somewhere else for Holtzy to experiment on you. Someplace far away, so I don’t have to hear your findings in real time.”

“Aye aye, captain!” Claudia flashed a two-fingered salute. Erin watched the girl climb the stairs two at a time, and tried not to think too much about what new gadget Holtzmann was perfecting.

“You know anything about Holtzy’s childhood?” Patty asked a few moments later.

“No. She's pretty private about that sort of thing.”

“Girl makes no sense. I know exactly how she grooms her junk but I have no idea if her parents are still alive. Or if she even had parents in the first place!”

Erin frowned. “Everybody has parents.”

“You know what I mean.” Patty flipped idly through her book. “Red seems nice, though. Maybe a little too Holtzy 2.0 for my taste.”

“I think she's cute.” Erin said, looking toward the stairs to the second floor. When she noticed Patty glaring at her, she quickly added, “Like in a kid sort of way. She's way too young for me.”

“Erin Gilbert, that girl is beyond way too young for you. Stop thinking about it.” Patty rolled her eyes. “You wanna fuck Holtzmann? Fuck the real one. Leave that itty bitty girl alone.”

A giggle floated down from the second floor, followed closely by a shriek— Erin couldn’t tell if it was a shriek of pleasure or of pain—and suddenly it was much, much harder to keep her thoughts on the press release Abby wanted her to edit. 

“Sweet mother of god, I’m going to kill them,” Patty hissed. “WHAT DID I TELL YOU?” She bellowed toward the stairs. “DO NOT MAKE ME COME UP THERE.” She turned to Erin. “For the record, there is not enough money in the world to get me to actually go up there. There’s no unseeing that shit.”

An electrical discharge that wasn’t focused enough to be a proton gun flashed upstairs. The main lights flickered and Patty put her head back down on the counter. 

“I’m going to find a way to make her regret this,” the historian grumbled. 

“You know, I’ll just go up and tell them to—“ Erin started to say, but Patty cut her off.

“Uh-uh. Absolutely not. You can barely keep your hands to yourself around ONE Holtzmann. Two of ‘em and no way you’ll be able to resist.”

“Less talking, more reading.”


End file.
